A Pot Belly Still Gives Good Loving...

"Even though I have fat thighs, flabby arms, a pot belly still gives good loving.."

Freshly Ground

This was not the post that was planned for today. But #fakeskin #fakeboobs running rampant all over social media caught my attention.

So one of our so called socialites got a boob job. And she's darn proud of it. I actually admire that confidence. Like she goes MIA for two weeks, re-surfaces and flashes her brand new pair of twinnies. Said socialite has also undergone skin lightening. Yes, apparently there's a difference between skin lightening and bleaching. She also got a permanent pair o fake lashes quite sometime back.

And all this got me thinking  - if you had the money and opportunity to "improve" yourself, would you?

About two weeks ago, someone else that I follow on Instagram (a YouTuber) addressed a boob job that she got that people had been speculating about for a while. The thing is, it was so subtle, I hadn't even noticed it until she brought it up. In addressing it she said "anyone who's followed my journey knows that this is a part of me that I have always been insecure about, and I finally decided to do something about it. This is for me, it has nothing to do with anyone else. I love it. My husband loves it. And that's good enough."

It was a whole monologue but I remember finishing it and thinking, wow- do you boo boo.

And in some ways I get where these people are coming from. We live in a brutal world. And I know different people get enhancements for different reasons- for example, our socialite says she lightened her skin because she makes more money as a light skin than a dark skin, and I'm she got the boob job for the same reason. The YouTuber on the other hand had the boob job done because it's something she has always been insecure about and decided to fix it.

Whether I agree or disagree is hard to say. In fact, it feels almost hypocritical. I find myself more sympathetic to the one who did it to fix her insecurities as opposed to the one who did it to make money. I know people who have had reductions done as well, would we treat them with the same judgment?

Here's the thing- I was bullied in primary school because of how I looked. I was bigger than the other kids (though looking back on photos, I wasn't even fat- I just had a bigger frame,and I was tall). I also used to get really bad allergy reactions on my skin. I would swell up and get hives all over and blisters filled with pus, it was nasty. And the bullying was at the hands of only two people, but they were the "queen bees". I never talked about it, but it really broke me inside till one day I woke up and decided that  I wasn't going to school. I felt ugly. I believed I was. I remember during one of my therapy sessions (I was only about 10 then), my counselor had me stand in front of a mirror, look at myself and tell myself that I am beautiful. And I looked at myself and just started crying. That's how unattractive I felt. Right now I have a crazy high self esteem, and that took lots of counselling plus working on myself.

But back then if you offered me the chance to get a liposuction done- i would! And I wouldn't have thought twice about it. Right now, nah.. I think my body is actually at it's sexiest right now. I love it, the men love it (*wink, wink*)plus I made peace with the fact that this is who I am. My doctor told me due to my bone structure, I can probably never be skinny.. At best I could be size 12/14. I've lost some weight, I'm down one dress size and still going down a bit, but the thing is it has nothing to do with who I am. The changes going on on the outside, have very little to do with what I am on the inside

Anyways, at the end of it all I just feel that we have collectively as a society pushed people to go to certain lengths to achieve a look that is "acceptable" and then we are the same people who turn around and bash them for it... You can't win these things!

What to do then?

Love you. You have just got to love you. From deep down within. The way Kanye West loves Kanye West. Because if you do not love yourself, nothing you do on the outside will make you feel better about yourself. There's people who've lost tons of weight and became even unhappier than when they were big. They say they'd look in the mirror and not even know who that was. If you don't know yourself on the inside, you will always struggle with what's on the outside.Your body is not static, it is bound to change. You will get kids, you will fall sick, you will have bad eating habits, you'll shed weight and so on and so forth. And if you have no value attached to who you are and what you have to offer devoid of how you look, this will always be a huge struggle for you.

Your validation should never come from what you look like. Your value should come from your soul. Your soul is the real you. The you that will remain pretty constant through the changing seasons of life. Invest in it, grow it, love it.
 
After all, there is no make up for an ugly soul.