Of Seasons and Friendships

"When I loved myself enough, I begun leaving whatever wasn't healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits - anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving"

Kim McMillen

It scares me sometimes how little I struggle to let go of friendships that no longer serve me, or that I no longer serve.

Maybe this is because I started losing friends at such a young age. Most of the friends I had as a kid, who were supposed to be my best friends for life, either moved to other parts of the country or left the country. As a result, in my younger years, I had a very hard time forming attachments. Most of my friendships were for here and now, for when I can see you. Other than that, forget it.

I had a few friends though that I somehow managed to keep through the years. One of whom was very close to me, or at least I thought was very close to me. I recently put that friendship in the bin. And I have a couple of reasons as to why that happened. It was just a decision I had to make. I didn't feel it necessary to inform the other party, I just stopped trying, It was taking too much effort and I just don't believe it should really ever have to be that hard. But in this whole process I was greatly reminded of something that I learned years back

Reason Season Lifetime.

Some people come into your life for very specific reasons. Probably there to meet a very specific need and once that is done, so is their purpose in your life. There's seasonal peoples - these are in your life for a specific period. And then that's that. Then there's your lifetime people. These will weather the storms of life and they are there for good.

Funny thing is though, I have come to see that we meet most of our lifetime people as adults. Granted it would be awesome if we could carry some of our childhood friends into forever (and sometimes we do), but that rarely happens. Why? Because it takes mastery of the art of growing together without growing apart. And that is not an easy thing to do.

As I've grown older I have come to realize I need to travel lighter. Over the past year, while I was dealing with the break up, it also provided me with an opportunity to evaluate and re-define friendship. Prior to that, I had believed I had some 100 plus friends, funny how through the whole process only about 5 of them showed up and stayed. And I actually do not hold anything against anyone as far as that is concerned, I just realize that we probably never were friends to begin with.

So I have taken it upon myself to challenge myself to go above and beyond for the people I have allowed into my life as friends. To be there. To show up. Both when it is absolutely necessary for me to show up, and even when it may not seem as necessary. Granted, we are adults - we are busy, we have lots of things going on, each of us trying to figure out and set up our own lives. But you will always ALWAYS make time for the things that matter. I say make time because you will have to be intentional about it. If you leave it as a matter of finding time, it may be a while before that happens.

I choose to embrace my friends for whatever season they are in my life for. Because it is that bond that will carry me through the period that they are there for. I also celebrate those who have been here before, and no longer are I still believe your presence in my life made a difference and contributed to who I am. And even though we may be more of acquaintances than friends, I can wish you nothing but peace in your life.

All in all, just like any other relationship, friendships require work. Sometimes the ways in which we meet our friends is nothing short of miraculous. But keeping these people as our friends takes conscious effort. It wont just happen.

Love on your friends today, wont you?

Love & Light :-)

Awii